I have 101 things i really want you to know. The guilt, happiness, pain, sadness, joy, kindness that you bring to me.

Every now and then I think about why I get into a relationship when I know I'm leaving for Australia. I thought it'd be a good experience but before that, I thought it'd end before I leave. who knew that it would last for 2 years? Who was I to complain and get so upset because you reply slowly and I get really paranoid when my period comes?

you've been waiting for 2 years and counting. you go out and you would see couples having each other in their arms but you, you have to wait every single day for that few days where we would meet and go out. I now sound like some emo-wannabe/cyber attention seeking girl but I know each and every word I type now is as real. (even this sounds like some emo-wannabe).

but truth is,
no matter how much I try to excuse myself from the pain and grief you go through each day, I know that I can never run away because it is a fact that I've accepted this relationship when I knew it wouldn't be easy.

I've seen long distance relationships fail and each time I think if our break up day is drawing near. Honestly speaking, you're really really too good to be true sometimes. Why would you want to stay with me for such a long time when others would give up without a shadow of doubt? Sometimes I'd lie to myself saying that it is because you just haven't found a better girl yet.

You've seen me (probably) at my weakest when I'd cry so bad over the phone or right in front of you.
You've seen me when I get so lame you'd talk about something else cause my jokes aren't funny.
You've seen me when I get so angry and the people in my life that sometimes I'd cry or curse some vulgarities.
You've seen me when I'm in a complete mess especially in studies.

You've seen me in so many different states and you would still accept me for all the flaws I'm made up of.
I guess if I were to write a billion "thank you" to you, it wouldn't be enough for the time you've spent waiting for me each hour and each day.

You have no idea of how much I appreciate you for all that you've done for me.
Your encouragement, your kindness, patience, your company, your gentleness, your sterness (if there's such a word), your advices, your opinions, your loyalty, your willingness to do anything for me and last but not least your love. There is a lot more but I cannot think right now because my mind is in a state of shock and sadness knowing that my mom has resigned and I'm not even sure if I have enough for my university fees.

A lot is running through my mind right now. I've got a math exam tomorrow and a chemistry paper the day after. I haven't studied cause all these (and more) have been clogging up my mind and I know I will regret doing this someday because I should be studying but I really want to write (almost) everything I want to say because someday I might be regretting for not writing as much as I could to let you know how much you're worth to me.

You're a great friend, but the best boyfriend. You're sweet in your own ways, and you're really clever. Though you may be sensitive at times where you feel down because your friends don't appreciate you/ the people around you don't take you seriously/ they ignore your ideas/advices/ you feel left out or you feel like you don't belong anywhere. No matter where I am or what I'm doing or how my feelings change in the future, this whole letter is genuine heart felt words that I feel right now at this moment of time. Be confident of yourself because you're greater than you think. You say I am out of your league but the truth is, You are out of My league. And you will always be. You've done so much for me and yet I'm so calculative because it is in my nature. I hope you will forgive me for all the pain and grief I have caused you.

We're not a perfect couple and it is obvious. But I guess this is our relationship. Just the two of us, making up the rules as we go along in life together. we would talk just about anything literally. From period to having sex to having children to what kind of ways I'd want to give birth. I don't know if these are even normal in other people's relationship but if it's not then doesn't it make us unique?

You've made me feel so privilege to be your first girlfriend, to have your first kiss (this sounds so cheesy and childish) and for you to accept my past. Words can't describe how lucky I feel right now. You've been a great great boyfriend and I want you to know that. No matter what happens in the end of the year, I hope that even if you get so angry at me (if we break up) and think that all these while I haven't been loving you for real, I hope you'll remember this letter because I haven't been writing letters to you for a long while now. I'm not even sure if you love letters or not, but this letter serves as a proof of how much you've done for me and how much I appreciate you for everything that you have done so far.

'The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall'
I really love you Syahmi.

 

I have 101 things i really want you to know. The guilt, happiness, pain, sadness, joy, kindness that you bring to me.

Every now and then I think about why I get into a relationship when I know I'm leaving for Australia. I thought it'd be a good experience but before that, I thought it'd end before I leave. who knew that it would last for 2 years? Who was I to complain and get so upset because you reply slowly and I get really paranoid when my period comes?

you've been waiting for 2 years and counting. you go out and you would see couples having each other in their arms but you, you have to wait every single day for that few days where we would meet and go out. I now sound like some emo-wannabe/cyber attention seeking girl but I know each and every word I type now is as real. (even this sounds like some emo-wannabe).

but truth is,
no matter how much I try to excuse myself from the pain and grief you go through each day, I know that I can never run away because it is a fact that I've accepted this relationship when I knew it wouldn't be easy.

I've seen long distance relationships fail and each time I think if our break up day is drawing near. Honestly speaking, you're really really too good to be true sometimes. Why would you want to stay with me for such a long time when others would give up without a shadow of doubt? Sometimes I'd lie to myself saying that it is because you just haven't found a better girl yet.

You've seen me (probably) at my weakest when I'd cry so bad over the phone or right in front of you.
You've seen me when I get so lame you'd talk about something else cause my jokes aren't funny.
You've seen me when I get so angry and the people in my life that sometimes I'd cry or curse some vulgarities.
You've seen me when I'm in a complete mess especially in studies.

You've seen me in so many different states and you would still accept me for all the flaws I'm made up of.
I guess if I were to write a billion "thank you" to you, it wouldn't be enough for the time you've spent waiting for me each hour and each day.

You have no idea of how much I appreciate you for all that you've done for me.
Your encouragement, your kindness, patience, your company, your gentleness, your sterness (if there's such a word), your advices, your opinions, your loyalty, your willingness to do anything for me and last but not least your love. There is a lot more but I cannot think right now because my mind is in a state of shock and sadness knowing that my mom has resigned and I'm not even sure if I have enough for my university fees.

A lot is running through my mind right now. I've got a math exam tomorrow and a chemistry paper the day after. I haven't studied cause all these (and more) have been clogging up my mind and I know I will regret doing this someday because I should be studying but I really want to write (almost) everything I want to say because someday I might be regretting for not writing as much as I could to let you know how much you're worth to me.

You're a great friend, but the best boyfriend. You're sweet in your own ways, and you're really clever. Though you may be sensitive at times where you feel down because your friends don't appreciate you/ the people around you don't take you seriously/ they ignore your ideas/advices/ you feel left out or you feel like you don't belong anywhere. No matter where I am or what I'm doing or how my feelings change in the future, this whole letter is genuine heart felt words that I feel right now at this moment of time. Be confident of yourself because you're greater than you think. You say I am out of your league but the truth is, You are out of My league. And you will always be. You've done so much for me and yet I'm so calculative because it is in my nature. I hope you will forgive me for all the pain and grief I have caused you.

We're not a perfect couple and it is obvious. But I guess this is our relationship. Just the two of us, making up the rules as we go along in life together. we would talk just about anything literally. From period to having sex to having children to what kind of ways I'd want to give birth. I don't know if these are even normal in other people's relationship but if it's not then doesn't it make us unique?

You've made me feel so privilege to be your first girlfriend, to have your first kiss (this sounds so cheesy and childish) and for you to accept my past. Words can't describe how lucky I feel right now. You've been a great great boyfriend and I want you to know that. No matter what happens in the end of the year, I hope that even if you get so angry at me (if we break up) and think that all these while I haven't been loving you for real, I hope you'll remember this letter because I haven't been writing letters to you for a long while now. I'm not even sure if you love letters or not, but this letter serves as a proof of how much you've done for me and how much I appreciate you for everything that you have done so far.

'The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall'
I really love you Syahmi.